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Fun With Telemarketers
Crowd-Sourced Strategies for Dealing With These Time Wasters
After spending five minutes of my life that I’ll never get back again trying to politely get rid of the slick-talking dude who’d phoned, intent upon selling me seasons tickets to the opera, I asked my Facebook pals, “What’s the best way to deal with telemarketers?”
Many had ideas for dispatching them swiftly:
Hand a 3-year old the phone and tell them it’s Santa
Just tell them you don’t speak English. In English.
I like to belt out a show tune. “If I Were a Rich Man” is nicely ironic.
Heavy breathing works for me.
Say that you’re broke, unemployed and being evicted. Then try to sell them your car.
I ask them to describe what they’re wearing. That usually shuts them down.
I say, “He’s here, and I know he’ll be very interested in your offer. I’ll get him.” Then I put the phone in a drawer.
This is why the Tuba is the best instrument EVER.
