So Glad You’re Dead!

Sympathy Flowers for Unpleasant People

Photo by Mayron Oliveira on Unsplash

I recently read an obit that included a link that enabled mourners to send Sympathy Flowers. I followed the link to a website full of lovely floral arrangements with names like:

Heartfelt Condolences

Peaceful Passage

Beautiful Spirit.

Farewell Too Soon

Here’s the problem. Not every dead person was a perfect, loving saint. The death of a loved one often leaves us filled, not just with grief and sorrow, but with anger, hurt, resentment, and countless unpleasant emotions.

So how about some floral tributes for these folks? Let me suggest:

Gone But Not Forgiven

You Owe Me Money

You’re Dead To Me

See You In Hell!

I’m at Peace and No Longer Suffering

Maybe Now You’ll Finally Stop Drinking

Don’t You Dare Rest in Peace While I Have Unresolved Issues!

Roses are Red/Violets Are Blue/Six Feet Underground/Is a Great Place for You

You Were Never There For Me. Now You’re Really Not There For Me.