Thanks for this great response!

I see that your second writer is a member of the "and then this happened... and then this happened.... and then this happened" school of writing in which a writer just details every single thing that takes place in a scene with no attempt to make it interesting.

When clients hire me to help them but then argue against every single suggestion I make, I usually end up telling them that they need to find another editor who is "more on their wavelength."

That being said, we editors have to pay the bills, just like everyone else.