Member-only story
The Bad Haircut Blues
My Hair Looks Like Hell. Now What?
I have an appalling new haircut.
The hair-cutting genius at my usual salon was all booked up, but my hair was looking so long and drab I’d begun wearing a cap to cover it up. So, I decided to duck into the “chop shop” at the local strip mall and get myself a quick, cheap cut.
What could possibly go wrong?
Over the years I’d gotten a few adequate haircuts there, as well as one truly spectacular cut from a stylist moonlighting from an upscale salon, which, because Cheap Cuts was running a special that day, cost just five bucks.
An amazing cut. For five bucks! In other words? The Haircut Holy Grail.
Hoping that lucky haircut lightening would strike twice, I entered the place with high expectations.
This time I got exactly what I paid for.
“I want it shorter,” I told my haircutter. “But not too short. Can you cut it so that it falls right below my ears?”
“You bet,” she said cheerfully.
Then, inexplicably, she cut my hair so that it fell mid-ear. The look I was going for was “short and chic.” The look I ended up with was “Bozo the clown.”
