The Joy of Signal Jamming

The Life-Changing Delight of Silencing a Phone Blatherer

Roz Warren, Writing Coach

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Photo by christian buehner on Unsplash

I’m a lawbreaker. Chances are you are too. At age 65, what I’ve come to realize is that everyone’s a scofflaw! It’s just a matter of which laws you choose to break, and whether you get away with it.

When it comes to potential criminal behavior, you weigh the benefits of breaking the law with the risks, then make a decision that works for you.

I smoked my first joint at age 15 and I’ve been a recreational pot smoker ever since. Every single time I toked, it was illegal. But I’ve never been caught and I have no regrets.

I also routinely drive over the speed limit and I often fail to put quarters in parking meters. Plus, I jaywalk. But here’s my absolute favorite way to break the law: I used to own and use a cellphone blocker.

Mother’s little helper

I had no idea such a thing existed until a tech-savvy teenaged family member told me about them, years ago. He knew how much I disliked listening to people yammering away on their phones in public.

So when he read an article about a nifty little gadget you could carry around that would block nearby cellphone signals, he handed me the article and said, “This sounds like your kind of thing.”

“I want one!’ I told him. “Can you order a cellphone blocker for me?”

“They’re illegal,” he said.

“Here’s my credit card,” I responded. “When the authorities come to arrest me, I won’t tell them you’re involved.”

But I was confident a jury of my peers would never convict me — assuming my peers were, like me, middle-aged women who have had it with listening to everybody’s private business while standing in line at Starbucks.

The sound of silence

It arrived a week later. What did it look like? It looked, ironically, just like a cellphone! Which meant that I could take it anywhere. And it sure was fun.

I’m in line at the supermarket. The woman in front of me pulls out her phone and starts gabbing loudly to her girlfriend about the hot guy she went out with last night. As she enthusiastically describes their carnal encounter in

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Roz Warren, Writing Coach

Writing Coach and Editor Roz Warren (roSwarren@gmail.com) will help you improve and publish your work.