Your Cat Does Not Belong On The Dining Room Table
But There He Is Anyway
I’m eating at my friend Amy’s house when one of her cats leaps up onto the dining room table and begins sauntering across its surface, heading toward my salmon.
“Bad kitty!” says Amy half-heartedly. “You know you don’t belong on the table.”
Which is total bullshit.
As far as Amy is concerned that cat belongs everywhere.
And he knows it.
But Amy is a good hostess. She knows I don’t want her darling’s adorable paws poking at my plate, so she picks him up and returns him to the floor.
But I’m not fooled. When I’m not there? He’s welcome on the table.
My friend Alana puts up even less of a pretense.
Doofus the cat jumps onto the table in the middle of dinner.
“Doofus! You know you don’t belong on the table,” Alana scolds, throwing Doofus a delicious bit of chicken, which he catches deftly and settles down (still on the table) to enjoy.
“I don’t know why he keeps doing that.” she says to me.
“You’re kidding me, right?” I respond. “He keeps doing that because you keep feeding him chicken when he does.”
